Couple: ‘We Can’t Live Without Our Coffee Enemas’

I’ll admit it. I have a serious caffeine problem. I can drink a large mug of straight espresso and fall asleep afterward—I can also go through several mugs of the potent beverage every day. But my problem is nothing compared to a Florida couple who will soon be featured on TLC’s “My Strange Addiction.” Mike and Trina administer their own coffee enemas several times a day—spending about five hours in the bathroom daily. I’m sorry but that shit’s just wrong.

“I started the whole debacle,” Trina, who did not want to reveal her last name—can’t say I blame her—told ABCNews.com. “Then it took on a life of its own. I twice tried to stop and felt worse, so I do this every day and as much as I can. But it’s very time-consuming.

“I love the way it makes me feel,” Trina added. “It gives me a sense of euphoria.”

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Trina and Mike admit to performing their bathroom rituals at least four times a day, although Trina confesses to giving herself as many as 10 enemas in a 24-hour period. Mike says he initially thought the idea was disgusting when Trina began the enemas, but now he is addicted as well.

To administer the enemas, Mike and Trina fill a 32-ounce bucket with coffee and send it up their rectums into their large intestines with a Vaseline-coated hose. Trina claims she listens to music, watches television and even plays Sudoku while performing her coffee enema. Mike is a bit more descriptive.

“I make a quick transition from the floor to the toilet seat,” he told ABC. “It comes flying out like a torrent.”
Uh… Mike? TMI, dude.

Not only are the coffee enemas gross, but they can be dangerous. Cornholes are meant to be exit only, and coffee isn’t a health food in any case, but certainly isn’t meant to be sucked up the poop chute.

“They claim it’s a way of detoxifying and might even be an alternative to cancer treatment,” NYU Medical Center’s Roshini Rajapaksa told ABC.

“There is definitely no evidence and I would hate for someone to forego [proven medical] treatment.

“Whenever you are inserting something into the rectum there is a danger of causing a tear in the lining,” she added. “Over using enemas can sometimes lead to dehydration and it can basically lead to a decrease in bowel function.”