How To Lose An Argument
This one time, I was in the middle of a heated argument with my ex—the kind where you’ve long since given up trying to see eye-to-eye on an issue, and now you’re both just yelling and screaming about who’s right and who’s wrong—when all of a sudden, I stopped and thought to myself, “Wait a second…I don’t give a shit about any of this.” I couldn’t even remember how the damn thing had started. But I’d dug in my heels so hard that I felt like I couldn’t back down.
Learn from my mistake. Seriously.
Every once in a while, maybe two or three times a year, it’s good to have a blowout fight with your girl. You two spend so much time together that if you don’t let yourselves unload on each other every now and then, you’re doomed. All this anger and resentment builds up and eventually blows in a bad way. That’s not what I’m talking about.
I’m talking about the other kind of argument. The avoidable ones that you use to attack each other. The kind were somebody has to be right and somebody has to be wrong. The kind that have no end. If you find yourself in one of those, just bail the fuck out. You’ll be a happier man for it.
See, women aren’t hindered by things like, oh…facts, or, you know…logic. I don’t care how much like a challenge, arguing with a woman is a battle you cannot win. If you just stop everything and say, “You know what? You’re right. I’m sorry,” and you can manage it without any sarcasm, you’ll stun her speechless. She may try to reengage you, don’t let her. Convince her you see everything from her point of view, now and thank her for enlightening you.
I know a lot of us have a problem with that philosophy because we like winning. Not in a Charlie Sheen way, just a normal, male, competitive, “can’t take a dive,” kind of way. It’s how we’re wired. But I’m telling you, no man in the history of the world has ever won one of those arguments with his wife or girlfriend. Ever. Best-case scenario and you do somehow manage to get her to admit she was wrong, I guarantee you you’re not getting laid that night.
Think of it this way. You win by ending the argument. And you do it on your terms. Once you swallow your pride and give this a try, I promise you’re going to love the results. Yeah, she may act a little smug for a while, but so what? Let her have that. She didn’t really beat you.
Now, look, you may think this whole thing comes across as a little chauvinist, but it’s really not. It’s actually…wait. You know what? You’re right. I’m sorry.
[Image via Shutterstock]
I want more stuff like this!