Once A Slut, Always A Slut

A friend of mine told me that he once dated a girl who admitted to him that she had cheated on every other boyfriend she had ever had. He wasn’t exactly thrilled to hear that, but he talked himself into moving past it. He was convinced that what they had was stronger. That it would be different with him.

It wasn’t. She fucked around on him just like she had done to every other poor, dumb bastard who came before him. He didn’t get mad about it when he found out, though, at least not at her. After all, he couldn’t say she didn’t warn him.

You hear a lot about women who try to change men who have a history of being players and how they rarely—if ever—succeed. But you don’t hear about the flip side to that very often. When a woman crosses over into “slut” territory, is it possible for her to come back from that or is it a label she’ll have to carry with her for the rest of her life? And what exactly qualifies as “slutty” in this day and age, anyway?

Some guys would argue that a woman is a slut just because she’s had a lot of sex in her life, but I don’t think that’s very fair. Even the odd one-night stand shouldn’t be enough to earn the distinction in my book. See, beautiful women (or even just reasonably attractive ones) can have sex whenever and with pretty much whomever they choose. That’s a huge responsibility. Can you imagine what the world would be like if the tables were turned and men had that kind of power? For Christ’s sake, we’d never get anything done. Society would crumble. So don’t begrudge a woman getting laid every now and then. If she turns it down even once, she’s probably got a hell of a lot more self-control than you do.

No, what makes a woman a slut is more about an attitude towards sex than anything else. It’s almost an indifference towards the act—a lack of appreciation for the value men place on it. And I’m not talking about emotional value. Men see sex as an achievement. An accomplishment, like climbing to the top of Mt. Everest—we may not be the first to get there, but by god, we earned it. Sure, we may complain about having to work so hard to get laid, but honestly, we like the challenge. It makes the reward that much sweeter. If it’s too easy, we don’t feel like it was worth anything (although we’ll usually go ahead with it anyway).

Unfortunately, these girls we classify as sluts are actually really sad, wounded people. They almost never have any self-esteem to speak of. They believe that they need to use sex for everything. They’ll use it to try to get you to like them because they think it’s all they have to offer. They’ll use it to try to hurt you because it’s the only weapon they know how to wield. These women are damaged and honestly, you probably don’t have the strength or inclination to repair them.

It’s hard for men to look past what they consider to be a woman’s sexual transgressions. And even if we can, we usually live to regret it.