Woman Lets Internet Name Her Child… And Gets Paid For It

Sometimes I’m ashamed to live in California, and today is one of those times. A woman from the San Diego area by the name of Natasha Hill sold the rights to name her own baby to a sponsorship company.

But the sponsorship company isn’t naming the baby.

You are. You and the rest of the world.

A very large part of me doubts this child is going to end up an “Amy” or a “Nancy.”

Babynames.net is the company responsible for the whole situation, dubbed the “Belly Branding” contest. The company chose Natasha from a pool of 80 contestants because they found her to be upbeat and honest, not to mention just crazy enough to let a bunch of random people completely screw up her child’s life.

Oh, did I mention this woman is getting $5,000? Yeah, in exchange for letting the Internet name her unborn child, she gets a measly $5,000. I hope she at least saves it for all the therapy her child is going to need.

Babynames.net has a service it likes to call the Belly Ballot, which gives parents the opportunity to make a list of their favorite baby names. Then, they can invite people to come vote on which name they like best. But up until now, these little naming contests have been strictly personal and by invitation-only. Then some poor shmuck like Natasha comes along and baby naming has suddenly become a party for all to enjoy.

To be fair, people can’t put any names on the ballot because Babynames will be responsible for that particular part. Still, some of the names will be those that are trending – like “Maeve” – but some of the names are going to be based on who sponsors the contest. So yes, theoretically, 50 people could get together and spend $50,000 to be sponsors and get the name “Fork” on the ballot if they’d like.

I’m not trying to give you guys any ideas or anything, of course.

Natasha doesn’t seem to be so worried about getting the short end of the name stick, though. She says that she “thinks people will do the right thing and vote for something unique and nice.” I honestly don’t think Natasha has been using the Internet long enough, because obviously she has no idea how mean the Internet can really be.

To be fair, though, people are much meaner to their own children than the Internet has been historically. Does anyone remember Hashtag Jameson? Or how about the countless Facebook users that threaten to name their children embarrassing thing like “Top Ramen” if they get 500,000 likes or whatever? I don’t know how many of those pages’ promises ever come to fruition, but I can tell you that Hashtag Jameson actually exists.

I don’t have any kids, but I know if I did, they would have names that kids couldn’t easily warp and destroy in school. I mean, unique names are cool and all, but when a kid has to constantly correct his teachers and peers about how to say his name, that’s downright annoying – and distracting. Kids should be able to focus on school, not how to spell their names because they’re so different from everyone else’s.

But let’s all think good thoughts for Natasha’s baby. Personally, I’m hoping for “Shineyqua.”

[Image via Facebook]